 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
by Fumika Yamamoto |
 |
ISALC, Lewis and Clark College
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
by Fumika Yamamoto |
|
Have you ever realized how important something was after you lost it? Or have you ever had a hard time which let you know how happy you had been? I remember an experience which has really made a difference in my life. This experience showed me what a serious obstacle is really like, and also made me realize many important things that I hadn't noticed before. The incident happened last fall. It was brought about by nice high-heeled boots. How high do you think the heels were? They were 13cm. Obviously, it sounds uncomfortable and ridiculous, but at that time, I was used to wearing such high-heeled shoes, so I didn't even realize how dangerous these shoes could be.
One day, I wore some brand-new boots, and went to my university with my friend. When we were walking near the bus station, we saw our school bus was coming, so we started to run. Suddenly, I fell down. At first I couldn't understand what had happened, but then I realized I had spread all my books on the road, and many people were looking at me. Where I fell down was very crowded, not only because the place was a big city and the time was rush hour, but also the bus station was full of students from my university. I was so embarrassed and ashamed that I felt I wanted to hide somewhere. I could notice my face was getting red and hot like fire. I tried to stand up, but my ankles were too hurt to move, and I felt my feet had changed into something else. It was a really strange that I couldn't control my feet. Unexpectedly, I recalled a past injury. When I was a junior high school student, I had belonged to the gymnastic dance club for three years, but my ankles were damaged so badly that I had to quit. I still remembered not only how I felt sad and mortified but also how my ankles had hurt. I thought this pain was very similar to the previous pain. I tried to walk, but I couldn't, so I crawled to a taxi. I knew everyone was staring at me, but I couldn't help it. I still remember vividly the shameful feeling. It was such a fortunate thing to have a friend in that situation; otherwise, I wouldn't even have gotten my books on the road.
We rode a taxi and found a hospital, but it was very old and small. We entered the hospital but the room was dark and quiet, so I couldn't even believe it was a hospital. The doctor was also very old and small. He examined my feet for a while, and said quietly that I should have surgery as soon as possible. I was very surprised because I thought I might have sprained my ankle; however, I actually had torn the Achilles' tendons of both feet. I had never had a surgery, so I was very scared. I really regretted my stupidity and repented for my clumsiness. Moreover, the doctor's explanation made me nervous because he talked in detail about how badly my ankle would hurt during the surgery. I imagined the hurtful surgery and trembled with fear. I was upset for a while, but I plucked up my courage, and I almost decided to have the surgery. Just in case, I went to another big hospital the next day. The doctor examined my feet carefully, and said that it was better to cure naturally rather than have the surgery. I was confused because the two doctors' opinions were completely different. Because of my parents' advice, I chose the bigger hospital, and stayed there for two months. During that time, I experienced many things I had never known before. For example, this was my first time to have such a hard time, to stay in the hospital and live with other patients, to use a wheelchair and canes, and to have such a lot of spare time by myself.
Now, looking back, I think I learned many things from my experience in the hospital. First of all, I realized how important health is. For two months, my room was in the surgery department, so I saw many people who had had serious accidents, and stayed in the hospital a very long time. I had never appreciated that I could do whatever I wanted by myself. I think if I hadn't had such an injury, I might have never realized this invisible, but most important thing.
Another thing I discovered is how difficult it must be for the people who use wheelchairs or canes to live in our city. Especially because my hospital was in the middle of Tokyo, the conditions were quite bad. For example, there are so many people, and everybody is in such hurry. If a person cannot walk the same speed as the other people, someone can push you, so it's really scary for the person to walk on such a road. Still I cannot forget the fear I felt when I practiced walking in the city for the first time. When I practiced in the rehabilitation room or in the corridor of the hospital, there were no rugged places, and there were bars on the wall everywhere, so I didn't have to fear so much. On the other hand, outside of the hospital, there were countless small ditches and uneven places all over the road, and there were not so many places to grasp at, so I felt uneasy. Furthermore, my body was pretty weak because I hadn't used my muscles at all, so I had to take rests frequently on the crowded road. It was really fearful because if someone had collided with me, I would have been hurt again and it meant I would have had to have a surgery again. Because of this reason, there were many patients who were afraid of the "outside rehabilitation." When I talked with some patients, one of the them started to tell a story very pleasantly. The patient used an artificial leg, and she often did the "outside rehabilitation" by herself. When she went to practice how to use canes on an uphill road, she dropped a cane by mistake. Because of the slope, she couldn't pick it up. To make matters worse, it started to rain. There were not so many people on the road and they ran to avoid the rain, but a young couple came and asked if she needed help. They not only picked up her cane, but also took her to the hospital all the way. I admired them because I was not sure I would have taken her to the hospital during a date if I had been them. Also, I had some similar experiences. For instance, when I went to the vending machine to buy a can of juice, I dropped a coin. I couldn't get it, but soon a woman saw me and picked up my coin. She asked which one I wanted to buy, and helped me to buy it. After that, I made up my mind to help handicapped people, if I saw them having difficulties because there were many things which are not hard for us to do, but are very difficult for them to do. I learned even though it looked like a small kindness, it would be a big help.
During my hospital stay, I also found how positive thinking works well. In my room, there were three other patients, and two of them were really seriously injured, having lost their legs. One was a young woman and she didn't have any feet, but she was cheerful all the time and tried to smile. When I first started to live in the room, she gave me some cookies and candies, and encouraged me to speak to the other patients. After we had talked several times, she talked about her injury. She worked for a computer company and on the way to work she had a car accident. She told me," Of course, I had never imagined I would lose both my legs, so I worked so hard and I didn't use my time for my self. I should have done many other things as much as I could. Let me give you a piece of advice. You shouldn't think time is limitless. You should live not for other people but for yourself." Her words sank into my mind deeply. I had plenty of time to think, so I thought about many things which I didn't usually consider. I was always busy at that time and I didn't normally think about things seriously, so it was really good chance to meditate. When I had my rehabilitation, I heard her laugh. She was always joking and made everyone laugh,too. I'm sure it was unimaginably hard to behave like that in her severe situation, but she said it helped her a lot. She was really positive. For example, she was challenging herself to get a special car license, and also she planned to reconstruct her house to live comfortably using her wheelchair. She talked to me about the plan of the trip, too. I think it's really important to think positively like her.
I had much time to spend alone in the hospital and it was a really big help for me to have some friends to talk to. Before I had the incident, I hadn't imagined that my best friend would come almost every day with many books, CDs, games and delicious food. I was so glad and I was full of gratitude. In addition, she copied all of my lectures notes and brought them for me. Through her help, I could catch up with my classes easily after I returned to my school. I was very encouraged and I was really grateful for what she did for me. I shouldn't forget her kindness and if I encounter this kind of situation, I want to try to give such an encouragement to my friend. This incident taught me a lot of things, and changed my thinking forever. Now I feel this was a very valuable experience for me and I can say I truly learned a great deal from my high-heeled shoes.
Created by: krauss@lclark.edu
Updated: 9/24/99