ISALC, Lewis and Clark College

Chopsticks Can Ruin Your Life by Akiko Dogakinai

Imagine. You are an able American businessman. Now, you are in Japan as your boss ordered you to enter into a contract with a big Japanese company. The executives of the Japanese company invite you to go to dinner at a first-class Japanese restaurant. Unfortunately, you only know "sushi", "Toyota" and "Honda" as Japanese things. Of course, you do not know Japanese table manners and you have never used chopsticks. What will you do in the restaurant? You may think that you will try to observe the Japanese executives and imitate their way of eating. It may work sometimes. However, they may come next to you to offer a drink before you attempt to follow them. In many cases, men who invite you will bring a bottle of sake or beer to pour it into your glass before the meal. It is polite manners and a conventional action, especially in business situations. This behavior means respect for you. Because you are the first person who is served drink by the executives, you will have no chance to learn how you should react to their treatment. You will feel confused. And because of the alcohol, you may not be able to think quickly or clearly. So, you may just eat in your own style; to eat the dishes, you will have to skewer your food with the chopsticks. If the Japanese are tolerant, they will regard your behavior as funny or they will take into consideration that you are not Japanese. But, in most cases, they will stare at you for a while with unpleasant or dumbfounded faces. You may feel like running away from there as they show their displeasure to you. And you will hesitate to use chopsticks and eat the food after you notice their eyes. You may even ruin the contract because of your manners.

Why will the Japanese reject you? In your country, your behavior may be acceptable. However, it is not acceptable in Japan. In important business situations or official meetings, manners have a great role in determining success. Especially, if you have to go to a Japanese restaurant for business, you need to know at least how to use chopsticks. Otherwise, it will seem doubtful to the Japanese that you are eager to go along with them or that you are a trustworthy person.

Chopsticks are widely used in Asian countries, but there are few places like Japan where local cuisine is eaten almost entirely with chopsticks. You can get spoons and forks if you ask at a general restaurant. However, traditional restaurants, like first-class Japanese restaurants may be an exception. These restaurants consider that chopsticks are one of the decorations of the dishes and you cannot taste the food in the Japanese sense without chopsticks. You are required to eat with chopsticks.

It will be hard to use them. Especially for beans and noodles, it is difficult to eat with chopsticks because they are so slippery. Even when you can catch some of such food, they may slip off your chopsticks before they reach your mouth. You will be frustrated trying to use them. Even for Japanese, it is not easy. And there is a fixed way of holding chopsticks, but it is complicated and some people cannot use them in the correct way even when they are middle-aged. But you should try to use them. It is just like holding a pencil. What you have to do is gently press your thumb on both chopsticks while supporting the upper chopstick with the index finger and middle finger, and supporting the lower one with the third finger to move the chopsticks. Only the upper chopstick is supposed to move. You may hold them tight and, if you do, the joint of your thumb will hurt. Or you may hold them lower down so that the part of the chopsticks that is supposed to be used become short and you think it is easier. But, you should hold them higher up and lightly as you begin to feel more comfortable. You will be able to use them more easily by following these suggestions. It is simple, but difficult. You may be clever enough with your hands to use them easily. If you master chopsticks, you can eat Chinese food or other Asian food with them. And for small pieces of food, like rice, it is better to eat with them than spoons or forks as chopsticks enable you to hold every little piece of food. This is impossible with spoons or forks. It is certain that it will be useful and helpful for you to learn to use chopsticks.

Even if you become able to use chopsticks beautifully or you know how to use them mechanically, you may wreck your good impression if you do not know some manners concerning chopsticks. For example, you may spear targets with chopsticks by "conveniently" sticking chopsticks into food. Or you may try to pass food to your neighbor, chopsticks to chopsticks. These are typical bad manners in Japan. These two examples involve "death". People stick chopsticks into rice in a bowl to offer it at the altar or people pass bones of a cremated corpse to the next person, chopsticks to chopsticks, in a funeral. Because of these customs, these ways are unacceptable for the Japanese. There are some other examples of poor chopstick etiquette. You must not hover indecisively over dishes, waving with hesitation about what to choose. And never search through dishes with them or otherwise explore with chopsticks. Do not forget any of these rules of chopsticks etiquette.

Now that you have learned well, you can go to a first-class Japanese restaurant and you can be proud of using chopsticks. You can hold small pieces of rice and the executives will be impressed with your skill. You are even a better chopsticks user than they are. You can feel a sense of superiority to them. Now they have to be willing to contract with you!

Created by: krauss@lclark.edu
Updated: 10/23/99