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When the judge says . . . the judge really means . . .
Caveat emptor . . . you're about to be screwed
De minimis . . . you haven't been screwed enough for us to care
De novo . . . congratulations, you're the first to be screwed
Res ipsa loquitur . . . you've obviously been screwed
Dicta . . . we're saying this so we can screw someone else
Scintilla . . . there's still a slight chance you can be screwed
Sua sponte . . . I'm going to screw you myself
Pro bono . . . you're getting screwed for free
Respondeat superior . . . relax, we're going to screw your employer
En banc . . . I'm going to get my buddies to help me screw you
Stare decisis . . . you were screwed a long time ago
Additur . . . we're going to screw you a little more
Ad hoc . . . there's a special reason to screw you
Mandamus . . . we command someone else to screw you
Res judicata . . . haven't you been screwed before?
By
Christopher C. Herbst, University of North Carolina at
Chapel Hill
Flora W. Feng, Georgetown University
Nathan Baker, Northwestern School of Law of Lewis &
Clark College