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Hooked on Lexis and/or Westlaw
15. You can recite your Westlaw and Lexis passwords more readily than your Social Security number or your address.
14. You tell a reference librarian, "I'm looking for a hornbook with 'point source' within four words of 'cow.'"
13. You bought your own chair to keep in the computer labs.
12. Lexis contacts you, worried that you have fallen prey to an I.D. theft scam.
11. You use words like "allfeds" and "mega;mega" in a sentence.
10. Ed and Dinyar are on your shopping list for Christmas.
9. Your index finger is permanently flat from clicking the mouse buttons.
8. You go into withdrawal in class because you can't find the exact sentence you are looking for in the casebook.
7. When you call the Westlaw hotline, the reference attorneys recognize your voice and ask how your mother is doing.
6. You believe that textbooks are a conspiracy to keep highlighter companies in business.
5. Half an hour is too long to wait for a district court opinion to be put online.
4. You petition SBA to start up a methadone program.
3. You chant your Lexis password repeatedly when no computers are available in the labs.
2. You know the Westlaw rep's work phone, home phone, cell phone, fax number, pager, email, the make and license number of his car, wife's work number, mistress's home number, and the name of his dog, in case you need to ask him a question.
1. The Lexis rep asks you questions about how to use the system.
By Nathan Baker, Jason Chubb, Audie Huber, and George Spector